Unpacking My "Backpack"

My friend Anna asked me to help her with a homework assignment this week. Her teacher asked the class to "fill" a backpack; with values, experiences, and beliefs, that make you who you are. She had to write a paper, as well as put a few tangible items into a backpack to share with the class for a presentation. And of course, like most people, as soon as Anna was asked to think about herself, her mind went blank. Just like if anyone asks me what music I listen to, I immediately forget every artist I've ever heard.

Thinking of what makes Anna the amazing woman she is, made me think of how we are similar and different. And of the different values, experiences, and beliefs I have that make me who I am. So, for all of my devoted readers, I will now "unpack" my backpack.

I value and believe in people. My family and friends, of course, because they helped make me the person I am today. Just the human race in general. We all have something of value to add to the world, and we should always try to do more good than bad. Every human, no matter their race, ethnicity, orientation, diagnosis, or likewise. We all have something worth sharing. Many hands have molded my life, and I continue to use mine to do the same for others.

I believe in climate change. It's real; it's happening; and we need to try and fix it as best we can.

An experience that has definitely shaped me for the better is being a sister to Emily and Shae. They both love me so much, and I them. Some siblings are not friends. Some siblings go years without seeing each other or ever really talking, but not us. Hopefully never us. We message or talk most days, we turn to each other with every joy we experience and any problems we face.

I believe in a woman's right to choose. Not that it matters to me personally, I had a Hysterectomy last July, so it's a choice I've never had to make. If I did have to make that choice, I wouldn't. I couldn't. But that's me. I do not know everyone's situation. But I do know I have no right to decide for everyone based on my own opinion. Every human has a right to make the medical decision that is right for them and their body, along with the help of a competent doctor. A mantra in Anna's house to her two sons, ages two and three and a half, is that anyone had the right to say at any time, "my body, my choice." Children should learn young that they have the right to their own body. When I come over, I ask for hugs, and sometimes they'll tell me no, which is fine. Sometimes they'll climb on me and after a while it hurts, I ask them to get off, and they ask why. I say, "My body, my choice," they say okay and get off.

I believe in a higher minimum wage. If you work a full time job, you should be able to pay for the basic necessities.

I believe in affordable universal healthcare. Our healthcare system is very broken. Insurance prices are ridiculous. People spent hundreds of dollars on insurance, and then they still have to pay something to the doctor. It shouldn't be both and it should not be so high.

I believe in marriage for every human who wants to marry another consenting, adult human. I hate when stupid people say if we let queer people get married, soon we'll be marrying animals. No. Only humans marrying humans.

Along with that thought, I believe that queer couples should be allowed to adopt if they can pass all the qualifications. And more single people should be considered more often. Being a single parent is hard, but if someone wants to do it, they should be allowed to. Anyone to look after you is nice, and there are so many kids that need looked after.

I value honestly. I try to tell the truth, until politeness tells me not to. And I expect the same from others.

I believe Trans rights are human rights. It goes back to my body, my choice.

I believe everyone has the right to a good education, high school and beyond, and they shouldn't have to put themselves into so much debt to get it.

I believe that we need to get over the stigma of mental illness. It's hard enough to admit that you might need help of some kind without people judging you for it. I admit that I go to a psychiatrist, I mention to people (kind of a lot) that I'm on medication, because I need to be. I sometimes see a therapist. I would regularly if our healthcare system was better.  People feel like they're a burden if they talk about all the stuff they're going through, or they worry that the people close to them will just brush it off, not take them seriously. And friends are great, they can get us through a lot, but they are not trained professionals, and some problems need medical help. And everyone should feel free to seek it, not be judged for it, and be able to afford it.

I value other people's points of view. I know that I am very opinionated, but personally, I will never learn more if people keep their thoughts to themselves. Maybe we'll end up debating, but maybe we'll come away from the conversation more open minded.

Of course the experience of being a daughter has shaped me into the person I am. I firmly believe that it's nurture over nature. Yes, by nature, I am the daughter of my parents, Amy and Rocky, but I was nurtured by many. My mom taught me the basics, or in most cases, taught Shae and I'm the worlds biggest copy cat. Potty training, shoe tying; I copied Shae. Usually minutes later, learning from mom through Shae. Some things my mom taught me I know came straight from my grandma, like no elbows on the table, which Grandma Betty was very adamant about. My mom taught me a lot about women's health. She took me seriously when I said that my period hurt way too much to be normal, and let me go on birth control when I was around 14 to help my symptoms, even though some other mothers would have worried about me abusing it for it's intended purpose. My mom always took us to the library. I love books so much, I can't imagine being one of those people who never reads a book again after high school.
Other people who have nurtured me into the woman I am today are; Emily, Shae, my grandparents, most of my aunts and uncles, a fair majority of my cousins, my best friend Anna, Anna's mom Jackie, friends that I no longer have because it turned out that they were bad people (they taught me what NOT to do and be), Joe and Shannon (my youth group leaders), some of the very nice people I've had the opportunity to work with, (both side by side as coworkers and as my clients, showing me their view of the world) and a few very good teachers over my years at school.

I value hard work. I know, sometimes I am lazy. But when I am needed, I bring all that I can to help. I hate when people can get by doing as little as they can. I know that they probably have struggles too, and it might just appear that everything has been handed to them, but when I see them repeatedly taking the easiest route, it's hard to not think that.

I believe in... something. I was raised Catholic, with its solid rules and opinions on everything. Some of which I don't agree with, like abortion, which I've already covered. I don't believe everything in the Bible it true. Some things in the Bible modern believers don't follow anymore either, by getting tattoos, wearing mixed materials, women wearing pants. I do believe in miracles, so I hope some of it is true. I think birth is a miracle. I think the human brain is a miracle; how it's evolved and developed to take care of different problems we face, like births that don't go as planned, curing illnesses, protecting ourselves against danger, creating so much. I think different things in nature are miracles, like the beauty of the grand canyon, trees that can grow to be so tall and big and produce oxygen, animals that live so long on nothing but their instincts and environment. The world has too many surprises and beautiful things and people to have come from nothing.

I believe people who want guns have a right to have them, but they should have to pass a much harder test and register it properly. Most states you can renew your concealed carry permit online. I think we should make something like the department of guns, something like the DMV, where you have to go, in person, to renew your permit. Like the DMV, you have to turn over paperwork for every gun you own, you have to take a vision test, and if the workers there have any suspicion about you, then you have to take the different tests again. You would have to have a permit before a licence, log hours of practice, and have a test on a range as well as a written exam. Then you can get a licence and would be allowed to buy your own gun. Illegally held guns would get the same jail time as a hard drug possession charge does right now. Guns that are just for display would be non-functioning. Anyone who passes on a gun after their death to someone who does not have a licence, will not actually receive the gun until one is obtained, through the lawyer and will and whatnot.

I also believe all illegal drugs should be decriminalized. And taxed heavily by the government depending on how dangerous they are. We also have a problem with prescription drugs, those would be free to those who have a legitimate prescription from their doctor, but no prescription, tax it. Tax it hard. Pay off America's debt faster. It would still be a crime to sell your medicine if you have a prescription to someone who doesn't have one.

I value a properly run government. I use my local library, for the most part I enjoyed my public school. I would value it more if it took some of my above ideas into account, as well as the ideas of people smarter than me. Smarter, not richer.

I believe rapists should get longer prison terms. I think child rapists should get incredibly long prison sentences. But I also believe some people shouldn't have to be on the sex offender list so long. Every situation is different, they all shouldn't have the same punishment. There are three tiers of sex offender, and tier one has a minimum of 15 years on the sex offender list (https://hopi.nsopw.gov/FAQs.aspx). Yes, if you have multiple tier one charges, you should be on the list all 15 years, but if its one instance, I don't think it should be that long. And if someone does something ridiculously heinous to another human, especially a child or a vulnerable adult, they should have to spend more than just a handful of years in prison.

I value quality time. It is my main love language. If you care about me, spend time with me. Sadly, my anxiety makes it hard for me to reach out to people that I want to spend time with. Most of the time I feel like people are too busy, I don't want to bother them when they could be doing something productive. I believe time is precious. I hate it when people waste mine. Silly staff meetings that could have been an email. People walking slowly in the middle of a hallway. People that won't just ask for help, like teachers with technology. There's always time to learn, but your time to figure it out on your own is not while 30 people are waiting.

I'm also a firm believer that your time is yours to waste. If you have a spare moment to yourself, spend it however you want as long as it doesn't intentionally hurt anybody else. I love to spend my spare time reading, it's not a waste to me, but some people don't like to read. I love bad movies and TV shows. Ones that are predictable, or silly, or ridiculous. Some people, like my husband Ben, hate that. He likes movies with action and plot twists and such. I think that him watching WWE, even to make fun of it, is dumb. That's fine. Everyone can waste their time as they like.

I hope you have enjoyed wasting your time reading this blog. Maybe you didn't think it was a waste of time at all, but more of a fun insight into my brain. No matter what you thought of it, thank you for reading. Leave a comment with your thoughts. What values, beliefs, and experiences have left the biggest imprint on you? Whatever it is inside us that makes us human, what made you?

Thanks again.

-Gretchen